Dealing with caregiver stress & burnout: Practice acceptance

When faced with the unfairness of a loved one’s illness or the burden of caregiving, there’s often a need to make sense of the situation and ask “Why?” But you can spend a tremendous amount of energy dwelling on things you can’t change and for which there are no clear answers. And at the end of the day, you won’t feel any better.

Try to avoid the emotional trap of feeling sorry for yourself or searching for someone to blame. Focus instead on accepting the situation and looking for ways it can help you grown as a person. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”

• Focus on the things you can control. You can’t wish your mother’s cancer away or force your brother to help out more. Rather than stressing out over things you can’t control, focus on the way you choose to react to problems.
• Find the silver lining. Think about the ways caregiving has made you stronger or how it’s brought you closer to person you’re taking care of or to other family members. Think about how caregiving allows you to give back and show your love.
• Share your feelings. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the situation. Talk to a friend or therapist about what you’re going through as a family caregiver.
• Avoid tunnel vision. Don’t let caregiving take over your whole life. It’s easier to accept a difficult situation when there are other areas of your life that are rewarding. Invest in things that give you meaning and purpose—whether it’s your family, church, a favorite hobby, or your career.

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Living With Alzheimer's: Creating Your Coping Strategy

You may already be aware of changes in your ability to complete daily tasks that once came naturally to you. Developing your own coping strategies doesn’t have to be complicated. You can simplify the process by focusing on these three steps:
 

1. Identify: Make a list of tasks that have become more challenging.
   Focus on developing coping strategies for your more challenging tasks. For example, if you are forgetting to take your medications, but have no problem remembering to do the laundry, focus on creating medication reminder strategies first.
2. Prioritize: Determine if the task is necessary.
   Ask yourself if the task you are trying to accomplish will help you get to your goal. For example, if paying bills has become more difficult for you, can someone help you write out each check? If the answer is yes, consider asking someone to help. You can remain in charge of signing each check.
3. Strategize: Find the solution that works best for you.
   For example, if you are having difficulty cooking dinner, try simplifying the process by using a crockpot. You can make a full meal without spending a lot of time figuring out the cooking process.

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Understanding Alzheimer/ Dementia Behaviours

Behaviours associated with complex and challenging mental health, dementia or other neurological conditions include aggression, wandering, agitation. These apparent changes in the personality of the person with the disease are a major source of distress both to the person who is presenting the behaviours and to those who experience them – the caregiver, the family members, and the service providers in all sectors of the health-care system.

 

Read more in this section about understanding the behaviours and how to respond to them. For more information, please contact your local Alzheimer Society

 

 

The behaviour	The strategies
Wandering Walks away from home unattended with the risk of becoming lost	Look for an immediate cause. Reassure the person and distract him with another activity. Move locks on the outside doors out of reach. Disguise doors with paint or wallpaper. Ensure regular walks and exercise. Put reminders (i.e., coat, hat) out of sight and reach. Inform neighbours. Register with MedicAlert® Safely Home®.
Restlessness Paces nervously, drums fingers, etc. for long periods of time	Distract the person -- find a meaningful activity. Calm her with music or touch. Consider pacing as a form of exercise (make sure her way is clear). Look for a pattern and arrange your schedule to be with her at that time.
Repeated actions Repeats words or actions over and over and over again	If the behaviour does not bother you, do nothing. Distract him with simple activities (i.e., folding laundry, polishing the furniture, shoes, etc.) Change the subject. Stay calm.
Suspicion Thinks others are trying to hurt her Accuses others of stealing possessions	Provide comfort. Don't argue or try to reason with her. Don't take accusations personally. Distract with another activity.
Sexual behaviour Removing clothes/exposing herself Physical and verbal advances towards others	Don't judge or scold. Provide affection. Look for unrelated needs (Does she need to use the toilet? Is she lonely or bored? Is she too hot or cold?) Distract with other activities. Stay calm. Provide privacy.
Aggression Physical and emotional outbursts (i.e., shouting, hitting) Custom Business Cards 20% Off!