5 Best Family Caregiving YouTube Channels

We collected a list of helpful family caregiving YouTube channels that every caregiver should check out. The videos available provide expert and crowdsourced tips, meaningful material, demonstrations on ‘how-to’ many actions, and other supporting topics for caring for an aging parent. Keep in mind that these are not a replacement for medical advice from your doctor so always check with your physician if you have any additional questions.

Peruse the channels compiled below and you may be surprised at how much content is available on everything from a 2-minute video on medication management to longer posts about caregiver stress.

Top 5 Best Family Caregiving YouTube Channels

Check out the YouTube channels below. You will find a variety of videos on how to take blood pressure, best dental cleaning advice and other general care topics for your aging loved one.

Family Caregiver Alliance Family

Caregiver Alliance, National Center on Caregiving is a public voice for caregivers. The pioneering programs — information, education, services, research, and advocacy — support and sustain the important work of families nationwide caring for loved ones with chronic, disabling health conditions.

Caregiver Stress

Home Instead Senior Care created the Caregiver Stress video channel, and caregiverstress.com to bring caregivers helpful resources and tips related to caring for a senior loved one. It’s their small way of trying to help you navigate what they know from their own experience can be a trying time.

AARP

AARP is a United States-based interest group whose stated mission is “empowering people to choose how they live as they age.” The videos covered are on topics such as highlighting caregivers, learning healthy habits and how to disrupt aging and live independently.

National Institutes on Aging

The National Institute on Aging is the U.S. Government’s lead agency on aging research and is part of the National Institutes of Health. NIA supports a broad scientific effort to understand the nature of aging and extend the active, healthy years of life.

Care.com

Care.com believes in being there for one another. They help families find the care they need and caregivers find the jobs they want. Browse their channel for caregiving stories, advice, recipes, activities, and tips for using care.com.

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Sibling Relationships: Resolving Issues While Caring for Parents

Issues between brothers and sisters often seem to come to a head when a parent suddenly needs care. While siblings who have always had a healthy relationship generally find ways to work through their disagreements, many who never truly got along can find themselves frustrated, hurt and even completely estranged from one another in the end. In either scenario, objective, professional advice can be helpful for those families who are working towards conflict resolution at a time when everyone should be cooperating.

 Christine M. Valentin, a Licensed Clinical Social worker in New York and New Jersey, provided AgingCare.com with some helpful suggestions for putting an end to family feuds. Valentin owns a private counseling practice where she works with adults who are experiencing anxiety and depression related to work, relationships and family. She also specializes in counseling people who are caring for loved ones with certain medical conditions like multiple sclerosis (MS) and Alzheimer's disease (AD). Prior to opening her practice, she worked with older adults and family caregivers for many years at non-profit organizations like the Jewish Association Serving the Aging, Mount Sinai's Caregiving Program, and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America.  CBB: Why does dysfunction seem to be so common in caregiving families?  CV: While I'm not aware of statistics that actually confirm it is widespread, I would say that some form of "family dysfunction" during the caregiving journey is almost inevitable. Caring for a loved one is a complex task that often entails making myriad decisions while also juggling financial constraints, paperwork and planning, and emotional responses. Caring for a parent in itself can be physically and emotionally demanding, and adding numerous opinions and personalities to the mix can multiply the complexities involved. This is particularly true if everyone is not on the same page regarding the care they think their parent(s) should receive.  CBB: Do you think caregiving is usually an instigating factor, or does this situation simply exacerbate a familial rift that was already present?  CV: In my experience, a family rift, dislike for one another's personality, or disapproval of each other's lifestyle choices is generally present before the caregiving duties arise. The experience tends to highlight or remind families of past conflicts and rivalries, which, in many cases, can no longer be skimmed over or avoided.  For example, a family may have always known that “Tom was Dad's favorite.” While this preferential treatment may have been accepted and politely ignored for decades, it can cause problems between the siblings, especially if Dad should begin to shower Tom with praise regardless of his contributions, while ignoring how other siblings are helping out.  CBB: Are there any common dynamics amongst caregivers that you have seen that you can comment on?  CV: A common situation that arises is when one sibling carries more responsibilities than the other(s). This typically occurs due to the primary caregiver's physical proximity to the parent, the flexibility of their schedule (whether real or perceived), and sociocultural norms and expectations within the family.  The reality is, whenever there is more than one person involved in caring for a parent, there are likely to be differing opinions on what needs to be managed, who should be handling what tasks, and when and how to intervene. If a sibling is not helping to provide hands-on care, financial assistance, emotional support or some other contribution, the sole caregiver often ends up feeling resentful, burnt out and lonely.  Common complications I have witnessed in sibling dynamics include:

• Being upset with a sibling because they are not helping out enough
• The primary caregiver not advocating for themselves or taking a stand with an older sibling because it goes against the established family dynamic
• Allowing social and cultural beliefs to dictate what roles each sibling will play in caregiving, such as the oldest male child not needing to help out as much, while the youngest female child absorbs most of the hands-on work
• Factors like childhood experiences and parenting style

How the family members interact with one another as well as each one’s current life responsibilities (career, children, relationship status, financial situation, etc.) can also have a significant impact on the level of frustration and dysfunction they experience.  Denial can cause emotional stress to spill over into how family members work and communicate with one another as well. Regardless of whether a parent simply needs help with meals and housework or they are suffering from advancing dementia, this “role reversal” forces family members to come to terms with their loved one’s mortality. This can be particularly painful for some to accept, and it is not unusual for individuals to react by lashing out and blocking or refusing to accept appropriate treatments or increasing levels of care.  CBB: How can siblings try to see one another’s perspectives or achieve better communication and understanding?  CV: There are many ways this can happen. Each one, however, is dependent on the siblings’ willingness and openness to address the issues they are facing. I suggest that family members:

• Be open to hearing one another's feelings about the caregiving situation.
• Be honest with yourself and each other when discussing the concerns each of you have about your parent(s) and their mortality.
• Focus on really listening to one another’s feelings without minimizing or discounting them.
• Respect each other’s personal opinions and points of view and be mindful of any biases or ill feelings that may be influencing your judgement and attitude.
• Be realistic about who your family members are and what they are capable of when it comes to participating in providing care.
• Recognize your limitations. Sometimes knowing when to stop trying to make someone understand is just as important as educating your sibling and advocating for them to be involved.
• Set goals for productive solutions like compromise and/or forgiveness, not “being right.”
• Have an experienced, non-partial person attend to help facilitate these discussions. Better communication and understanding can often result from having a neutral party mediate and offer an outsider’s perspective. This person can be an impartial friend, a clergy member, social worker, geriatric care manager or a mental health professional.

 CBB: What professional/therapeutic services or tactics might help mend or at least mitigate a sibling dispute?  CV: A good first step to take is to have a family meeting. Do not include the care recipient at the first meeting, but do include a trained, experienced mental health professional. Doing so can help the family gain a better understanding of everyone's feelings about the situation, as well as their expectations. It is during such consultations that families are able to hear each other out rather than letting their emotions get the best of them and closing themselves off from productive conversation. Families can also experience a sense of relief when their emotions are validated and normalized and they obtain access to helpful resources. Realizing they are not alone in how they feel and that other families experience similar issues can reduce stress and be very cathartic. Becoming aware of caring strategies to implement and potential community resources and tools they can utilize within the home can also help to lessen the burden on the family and help them arrive at a realistic solution. Sharing thoughts and resources in support groups can be especially beneficial and productive in these ways as well.  Ultimately, the goal of a family meeting is to gain a better understanding of and greater appreciation for each other's views, improve communication, and learn about strategies and tools to help with the responsibilities at hand. In some cases, having the care recipient join a subsequent session with the family can also help implement services or care plans that the family is having difficulty with. Any resistance the family may be getting from their loved one can usually be addressed during these meetings as well. If a family therapy approach is not successful, one-on-one counseling may help you learn how to deal with difficult siblings and other relatives in a healthy and productive manner.  CBB: Is there a point in time when family members must accept their differences and simply walk away?  CV: Absolutely! The point when this occurs is different for everyone since factors like history of sibling conflict, history of attempts at reconciling, and expectations of one another need to be taken into consideration. Generally speaking, siblings should detach when they feel they have made every possible effort to settle their differences and believe that the stress of getting a sibling to be on board outweighs any benefits they might bring to the table. This is a common solution for people who have narcissistic or needy siblings who use bullying, guilt and manipulation to get their way. While this can be hard to do for various reasons, it is often the best option in order to eliminate unnecessary sources of stress while caregiving.  Many people associate detachment with abandonment or feel it is a choice that indicates a lack of compassion or dedication to their loved ones. However, detaching from a family member does not mean you no longer love them or do not care about their wellbeing. Instead, you choose to create a healthy distance between the two of you, which will provide you with a buffer against their negativity, drama and other destructive tendencies.  Your sibling is responsible for their own behavior, and you are responsible for deciding how you will let their words and actions affect you. Firmly setting boundaries with your sibling is a way of taking back control over your life. This could consist of a reduction in communication, or an all-out no contact approach. Accepting that there are certain things you are incapable of changing and limiting your interactions with unhealthy, unyielding individuals will allow you to focus on your own wellbeing and providing top-notch care for your parent(s).  A healthy detachment allows you to continue caring about a sibling without enabling their bad behavior, expecting anything in return or allowing their conduct to have any impact on yours. We naturally seek approval from our family members, but this should not be the driving force behind your actions when it comes to caregiving or any other responsibilities in life.  

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When is it Time to Place a Loved One with Dementia?

 One of the most frequent questions we get on Memory People is, "How do I know when it's time to place my loved one?" This, of course, is different for every patient, but it is also different for every caregiver. My rule of thumb is, and always has been, that there is no downside to placing a loved one in a facility too soon.

There are many drawbacks to waiting too long, and none of them are good. The number of things that can potentially go wrong in waiting too long to place a loved one are endless. Here are a few examples:

Medications In a facility, the medications are regulated and can be changed, usually within the hour for whatever reason. When your loved one is living at home, try getting them to the doctor for an evaluation to change their meds. This in itself can be a disaster, and is unnecessary once you have placed them.

Mobility Toward the end stages of dementia and Alzheimer's, patients have extremely limited mobility. Take a 70 year old spouse, weighing in at about 90 lbs. soaking wet, trying to get her 180-pound husband to the bathroom two or three times each night. All this does is put both of them in danger of falling. The end result could be a broken hip which, in some elderly people, is in itself a death sentence. Bathing, toileting, dressing, and other activities of daily living all come with risks, but a facility is better equipped to safely handle all of these. Then there's the fear of them getting out of the house without you knowing. Wandering can (and does) happen in a facility, but the chances of your loved one wandering there are a lot slimmer. The response time when someone does wander is greatly increased as well, due to the number of employees available to look for them.

Stress Anyone who cares for a loved one knows what I am talking about here. It doesn't matter if you are in your thirties or in your seventies, the stress that dementia puts on a caregiver is the same. If you are in your thirties, chances are you’re in reasonably good health. If you are in your seventies, you are more likely to have several medical conditions of your own to contend with. Stress can quickly manifest itself in people of any age, and is known to exacerbate even minor ailments. Sometimes placement in a facility is best for both the caregiver and the loved one’s overall health and wellbeing.


Long-distance caregiving This rarely works. How could it? Some dementia patients have the help of local family members, but they still struggle to stay on top of the care and assistance that their loved ones require. Some try to do this from hundreds or thousands of miles away, but adequate supervision and care can't be provided from afar. If you are a caregiver who is doing this, you know what I am talking about.

Have a plan The most important reason to have a plan way before it comes time to even think about placement is because you said you would. What does that mean, "You said you would"? It means that somewhere along the line you probably promised to take care of your parents, your spouse, your siblings, whomever. You may have said that you would never place them in a nursing home for any reason. Well, never sometimes arrives before we know it. I am telling you this as a patient who knows his destiny. I know what is coming. In a year or two, I may not understand. But right now I do, and I do not want to put my wife or our daughter through that. Period. Then there’s the fact that, as a patient, I deserve and demand to be taken care of to the best of one’s ability. My daily care should not be substandard simply because of a promise you made some 20 or 30 years ago. Chances are, we all have made promises we haven't kept for one reason or another. This thing about, "I promised my Mom I would never put her in a facility," is noble, but that’s about it. Dignity also plays a huge role in this. We all want to be cared for with dignity. A patient may not be able to communicate or have any idea what is going on around them, but they deserve to have their dignity remain intact. It tends to be a matter of pride for their caregivers as well, believe it or not. One doesn't want their family to know they can no longer take care of their Dad, so they do the best they can, not even realizing that the care they are trying to provide is substandard at best. Every patient deserves to be taken care of. That should never even be up for debate, but it often is. In closing, I want to tell you something, and you need to think about this. Placing your loved one in a facility needn't be the dramatizing thing it is portrayed to be. The nursing homes these days are nothing like they were 30 years ago when you made that promise to never place them. Chances are neither the patient nor the caregiver have ever been in a facility that cares for dementia patients. Why is that? Because no one has a plan. Some think that one day they will decide they can no longer handle being a caregiver, just drive up to a facility with their loved one in the back seat, and tell the nurse at the desk you have arrived and you can't do this anymore. This only happens in movies. The only person who can place your loved one is their doctor. You, as their caregiver, can and should acknowledge when you can no longer handle these responsibilities, but it is only by doctor’s orders that a patient can be placed in facility. It is imperative to have some sort of long-term care insurance in place, which has to be purchased before your loved one was even diagnosed way back when. But this rarely happens. So you have to depend on what money your parents have, and it’s likely you have no idea where or how much that is. Another issue is whether the facility you are looking at has room for your loved one. Again, you can't just drive up and expect the facility of your choice to have a vacant room waiting for you. This post could be twice as long, and I still would have just grazed the surface on why you need to have a plan when it comes to placement. Do yourself and your loved one a favor and be prepared. To me, placing a loved one is one of the most loving things you will ever do for them. You are doing something your heart tells you not to, but you are doing something that your mind knows is the right thing to do. This is exactly what you said you would do all those years ago: take care of them. When you can no longer manage, you seek out placement. This is, in fact, taking care of them.

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