Should Your Elderly Parent Move into Independent Living?

As people age, they often look into relocating. When an elderly person still has the physical and mental capacity to live independently, but wants companionship with others who are their age, independent living could be a good option. Independent living communities promote seniors' active lifestyles while offering a secure environment and providing specific services and amenities related to elderly people's needs.

Before spending time finding the right independent living community for your senior parent, first determine if your parent is a good candidate for independent living. Ask these questions:

 

• Are they in good health?
• Can they manage medications and doctor appointments on their own?
• Would they enjoy living in a community with their peers?
• Do they want "hassle-free" living?
• Would they prefer the extra security provided by these communities?
• Can they afford the costs for this kind of living? If not, are they willing to live in low-income senior housing?

If your elderly parent is not in good health, or cannot care for themselves without assistance, they are not a candidate for independent living. Assisted living or a nursing home, which provide access to healthcare and emergency medical services, would be a more suitable living option.
Seniors have options when looking for independent living communities. There are three major types and although they are somewhat similar, there are key differences in each option.

Retirement Communities
There are other names for these communities. Look for these:

• Retirement Community
• 55+ or 62+ Community

These housing communities usually offer the least in services and amenities and as a result, this is the most "independent option" in independent living. These communities are called retirement communities because they are just that; homes for independent and active retirees who want to live among peers.

Grounds maintenance is usually the only service provided, while things like cooking and cleaning are still done by the elder. Social activities are usually organized by the residents. Homes can be single-family houses, condominiums or modular. Although it depends on the particular community, usually seniors own their home individually. If renting is an option in the retirement community, it is usually done by renting from an individual owner, or renting as part of a co-op.

Independent Living Options for the Elderly

Senior Apartments
There are other names for these communities. Look for these:

• Independent Living Community
• Independent Living Facility
• Senior Living Facility
• Senior Living Community

Senior apartments, or senior housing, offer the same services as retirement communities; however, senior apartments offer a bit more. They are usually a part of a facility that provides varying levels of care, ranging from independent living to assisted living, and sometimes dementia units and skilled nursing. Services such as cleaning and transportation are usually offered and residents even have the option of eating in the community dining room, rather than cooking for themselves. Also, additional safety and security is inherent in senior housing facilities, simply because staff is generally available around the clock. According to Connie Hamin, marketing director of Heritage Woods in Winston, North Carolina, many of these senior apartments have emergency pull-cord systems, which are emergency devices, usually set up in every room of the apartment, that allow for the resident to alert the front office of an emergency or if they need assistance.

Senior apartments can be an ideal choice for active seniors who desire a "maintenance-free" lifestyle. They are still able to maintain their independence while having the added luxury of services and amenities that independent living provides.

Senior apartments are similar to assisted living, but have two key differences. Hamin explains, "For someone to live in independent living, they must be able to dress and bathe themselves, do their own laundry and are responsible for handling their medications. Seniors who live in assisted living also get the added bonus of 24 hour monitoring services." If an elder needs assistance with medications and/or personal care, but wants to maintain independent living status, they can use outside sources to receive this extra care. Usually this is done by hiring private-duty caregivers. Ultimately, the senior then is not really capable of independent living, but they still maintain the independent living status in their community.

Low-income Housing
There are other descriptors for these communities. Look for these:

• Affordable
• Government Subsidized
• Supportive

This kind of senior living is similar to retirement communities and senior apartment facilities; however, rent is always below market rate. This is possible because the rent is subsidized by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development and other charities. An elderly person must meet income qualifications in order to live in this type of housing. The individual cannot have income and assets that exceed caps and requirements set by the state (each state has specific regulations for this).

Who pays for Independent Living?
Unless your aging parent is eligible for low-income or government subsidized housing, he/she is responsible for footing the bill. In other words, Medicaid and insurance do not cover any of the costs for independent living. Independent living communities are either houses or condominiums bought by the elder or, according to Hamin, they are rentals, paid privately, on a month-to-month basis.
Association fees are another financial issue that need to be considered. Most communities charge fees and they can range from one-time, yearly, quarterly or monthly. These association fees cover many different costs associated with maintaining the lifestyle expected in independent living, including maintenance, activities and any extras.

By relocating to an independent living community, seniors are able to maintain or strengthen quality of life and live in a more secure environment, and their adult children can have peace of mind knowing that their parents are safe.

________________________________

Dementia Signage for the Home

Product Catalog


Gift Shop
 

Before Your Parent Moves, Pack a "First-Night" Box

When your parent first arrives in her new living quarters -- whether it's a smaller home or apartment, an assisted living facility, or a nursing home -- there are a few key things she'll need from the get-go. Here's what to put in a suitcase (or a box that goes in your car rather than the moving van) for easy first-night access:

1. Sheets, pillows, and other bedding
2. Paper towels and toilet paper
3. Coffee maker or tea kettle (plus coffee or tea)
4. Toiletry kit with toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, soap, hair products, and other essentials
5. Prescription and over-the-counter medications your parent takes regularly
6. Checkbook
7. Pajamas and a change of underwear
8. Bedside clock
9. The book your parent is reading
10. Address book or list of key phone numbers
11. A framed photo or other memento -- to make the new place feel a little more like home right away



Dementia Signage for the Home

 

 

Red Doctor's Appointment Reminder Notepad

 

Doctor's Appointment Reminder Notes Note Pads 

6 Steps to Organizing Your Parent's Move (Without Getting Disowned)

Step 1: Get the whole family on board

Moving an older relative from his family home to a new -- and usually smaller -- residence is labor intensive for you and emotionally disruptive for him. Tempting though it may be, it's not a good idea to "surprise" a family member by sorting through his stuff when he's not around. If you try to make an executive decision about his belongings, chances are, you're headed for a run-in with him or others in your family.

To help prevent emotional flare-ups and ensure a smooth process, schedule a meeting with the whole family, if possible, to discuss the plan of attack well ahead of the move-out date. (If you can't get together, do it by phone.) Hash out some guidelines: Under what circumstances will you call each other on "keep or discard" decisions? When will you consult the person who's moving? What key possessions would you and your other family members like to keep in the family?
Encourage the person who's moving to actively participate in decisions. For example, adult children often want to throw away old furniture and buy newer, more attractive pieces for their parent's new home. But the parent should be able to pick what comes with him, says Dollar. "Let them take their own furniture if they want to -- they know what will make them most comfortable in their new home, and sentimental value often counts for more than aesthetics."

Step 2: Work slowly when packing up -- think months, not days

Your relative's home is more than just a roof over his head: It's the place where he feels most comfortable, a museum of his memories and life stories.

Complicating matters, if he lived through the lean Depression years, chances are he's spent a lifetime saving and collecting. Decades of squirreling away can add up to a house that's packed floorboard to rafter with stuff. As you begin organizing for a move, keep in mind that seemingly worthless belongings may have huge sentimental value for him, and he'll need time to sort through his things on his own terms. Try to resist the urge to execute the move as quickly as possible.
"It really needs to be a three- to four-month process. You need to give an older adult time to go through the love letters, the report cards, and the photographs from the Grand Canyon," says Jacqueline Dollar, a geriatric care manager in Des Moines, Iowa. "It's a wonderful chance to go back and reaffirm the full, productive life that he's had."

Step 3: Get real about the size of your older relative's new place

"In almost every case I've been involved with, people take more stuff than will fit in their new space," says Gayle Grace, a moving coordinator in Oakland, California. "Many times I've been called back in to help do more weeding out after the move."

Avoid this situation by first getting a sense of how much square footage and storage your relative will have in his new home. What he can keep will depend on how much room you have to work with. Getting realistic about space constraints up front -- even sitting down with him to sketch out what can go where -- will help force some of the harder decisions about what to get rid of.

Step 4: Work room by room when organizing the move

Take on one room -- even one drawer -- at a time. Evaluate the items one by one and sort them into piles located in separate rooms in your relative's house: one for items to move to his new home, one for those you and other family members might be interested in keeping, one for those to keep in storage, one for those to donate, one for those to sell, and one for those to throw away.
If your thrifty relative is uneasy about tossing anything, donation may be the way to go. Many organizations will arrange a pickup at his home; check your local charities (salvationarmyusa.org, redcross.org, goodwill.org) for pickup policies. Tip: Be sure to get a receipt so he can deduct the value of the donation on his next tax return.

Furniture and belongings that will go with your relative to his new home should be labeled with their specific new location (living room, kitchen, bedroom) and mapped out on a floor plan of the new home so that the movers know exactly where each item goes.

Step 5: Accept your relative's choices about what to keep

"It can be difficult for a child to understand why her father wants to take a bowling ball with him when he's not in any condition to bowl again," says Dollar. "But clearly that bowling ball means something to him, and he should be able to take it with him."

Obviously, you'll have to make some hard choices about what will and won't fit into his new home. If he insists upon keeping more than will fit, you can try to find storage in another relative's home to ease your his anxiety. However, there are limits. "If your mother wants to keep her antique spoon collection, she may have to relent on other nonessential items," says gerontologist and home sale expert Cathie Ramey of Walnut Creek, California.

When push comes to shove and your relative is still unwilling to get rid of something, it can help to suggest an alternate route. Taking a photo of the item, keeping a few pieces of a large collection, or finding a good home for a beloved chessboard are some ways to do this. No one wants to see their belongings tossed into a dumpster.

The bottom line is that you'll need to be patient with your family member and allow him to adjust to the changes. If the tension between you has stalled the project, consider calling in a professional to assist you. Professional move managers specialize in assisting older adults and their families with the emotional, physical, and organizational aspects of relocation. You can find a professional in your area on the National Association of Senior Move Managers website.

Step 6: When all else fails, move first and purge later

For any aging person, moving is a loss, says Dollar. "It's a loss of familiarity and personal things -- and it's really tough emotionally." If your family member is showing his anxiety by clinging to every last Tupperware lid, you may need to get him moved first and worry about purging the nonessential household items later. "After he's been in his new home for six to eight weeks and he's settled in and removed himself from the old environment, it's much easier to get rid of things."

_______________________________

Dementia Signage for the Home