Singin' in the Rain!

Motivating a loved one with Alzheimer's disease to take a shower or bath can seem impossible. Here are a few suggestions:

• Although it may be a bit inconvenient for you if you work full/part time, try asking your loved one to shower at a different time of day when he/she may have more energy and motivation.
• Try playing some of your loved one’s favorite music in the bathroom while he/ she is showering and encourage him/her to sing or hum. Maybe some good ol’ Big Band stuff will get him/her going! Or if he/she likes the classical stuff, this could make a relaxing night time bath.
• If he or she is able to, he/she may prefer a bath. You could take him/her shopping and let him/her pick out a bubble bath fragrance that he/she likes.

Bathroom Signs & Toiletry Labels

Managing Odd Behaviors

Changes in the brain that are associated with Alzheimer's disease can lead to unusual and unpredictable thinking and behavior. For example, your loved one may become anxious around family members, neighbors, or friends whom he or she may not recognize, or in situations that stray from the normal routine. Your loved one may also become suspicious and suffer from delusions (false ideas that a person firmly believes and strongly maintains in spite of contradictory evidence). He or she may also begin to withdraw from social interaction, wander, become aggressive, and/or become angry and irritable.

Here are a few suggestions to help minimize and manage these unusual behaviors:

• Try to preserve your loved one's abilities, especially those that affect dignity (such as eating and using the toilet) rather than try to teach new skills.
• Try to minimize any changes in the surroundings or to your loved one's daily routine.
• Follow simple routines and avoid situations that require your loved one to make decisions. Having to make choices can be very frustrating and cause anxiety for a person with Alzheimer's disease.

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Behavior Management Tools








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Health Management Aids

Telling Others About The Diagnosis

If your loved one has not been told his or her diagnosis, consider talking about it with him or her, even if you use words such as "memory problems" instead of "Alzheimer's disease." Talking about the diagnosis allows you to be involved in future plans. Here are a few more tips on how to talk about an Alzheimer's diagnosis:

• Consider sharing the diagnosis with others, even if you are reluctant at first. Doing so will help you to gain support from others. It also relieves both of you of having to pretend that everything is OK.
• Talk about how you will tell others. You may want to tell select friends and relatives one on one. Or you may want to write a letter, as President Reagan did when he received his diagnosis.
• Expect that some people may not believe the diagnosis at first. Alzheimer's disease is in many ways "invisible," particularly in its early stages. Often, those who have it appear healthy. The symptoms are not always apparent.
• Be prepared for the possibility that lack of understanding about the disease may cause some friends and family members not to know how to respond to your news.
• Let people know that calls, cards, letters, and visits are welcome. Tell people what the best times for visits would be.
• Be ready with a list of suggestions for those who ask how they can help.

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Reminder Notes & Memory Aids

Getting to the Bathroom On Time

At some point, your loved one may have incontinence issues. Of course, there are over the counter products you might want to consider using. Here are a few other suggestions:

• Watch for signs that your loved one needs to go to the bathroom, such as unusual pacing or fidgeting. Alzheimer's disease can affect your loved one's ability to remember where the bathroom is and how to get there.
• Ask your loved one if he or she needs to use the restroom several times during the day.
• Post a sign on the Bathroom Door that says "Bathroom."
• Consider getting a bedside commode to prevent night time accidents.

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Bathroom Signs & Toiletry Labels

   

Life Goes On...

People at the early stage of Alzheimer's disease may be able to continue in some of their most important roles. Relationships may change because of changing abilities. For example:

 

• Changes in communicating may make it difficult for your loved one to express his or her thoughts and feelings. This may cause your loved one to feel angry, frustrated, or lonely
• Sharing the diagnosis with others may cause your loved one  to worry that friends and family members will act differently with him or her
• Hiding the diagnosis or not telling it to others may cause your loved one to fear that his or her symptoms will be discovered. This can lead to social isolation and being depressed

You as the Caregiver will also experience changes in your usual role and relationship with your loved one. For example:

• Your loved one's changing abilities may require you to take over some unfamiliar tasks, such as paying bills, cooking meals, or driving
• Communication difficulties that cause your loved one to feel lonely can create the same feelings for you

Here are some suggestions to help you and your loved one move forward in your changing roles:

• Help your loved one determine whom he or she will tell about the diagnosis, and how he or she  will do so. 
• Consider getting support for your feelings. Talk with each other, or talk with friends, family, or professionals.
• Encourage your loved one to continue to do familiar things that help him or her feel connected to you and others, such as preparing meals, or visiting family.
• If appropriate, encourage your loved one  to address his or her needs on a spiritual level by attending religious services or reading special passages together

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Helpful  Products for the Home

Someone Stole My Purse!

Some people with dementia can become suspicious. If they have mislaid an object they may accuse someone of stealing it, or they may imagine that a friendly neighbour is plotting against them. These ideas may be due to failing memory, an inability to recognise people, and the need to make sense of what is happening around them.

Here are some things you can do to help:

• State calmly what you know to be true, if appropriate, and then reassure and distract your loved one.
• Try to remember that although your loved one's interpretation may be wrong, the way he or she  feels is real.
• Explain to others that they should not take your loved one's unfounded accusations seriously.
• Don't automatically dismiss your loved one's suspicions if there is any possibility that they may be true.

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Ballroom Dancing v. Caregiving

You are a mother or a father, a son or a daughter, an employee or a homemaker. These roles and relationships are such a part of us that we seldom give them much thought. We simply accept them – until Alzheimer's disease causes them to change. And with this condition, certain changes in roles and relationships are to be expected. A once-independent spouse or parent may have to accept help for the first time in his or her life. A child may have to support the parent who has always supported him or her. These adjustments can be difficult to make, especially at first. But you can make adjustments that benefit both of you if you keep your partnership in mind.

The changing relationship between the person with Alzheimer's disease and the caregiver is a lot like the relationship between two ballroom dancers. When a couple dances, one person is the leader and the other is the follower.

In your relationship now, the caregiver may have to do a little more leading and less following. And the person with Alzheimer's disease may need to find a way to follow that is comfortable.

Fortunately, Alzheimer's disease usually progresses slowly, and in most cases you can shift your roles little by little. Being flexible is required. That is usually true for successful relationships. So, if you can stay flexible, you are likely to find ways to be close to each other. And that is staying connected.

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