The Lone Ranger

Often, one sibling is responsible for the majority or all of the care of a parent with Alzheimer's. Here are some suggestions on how you can involve your other siblings in a caregiving role:

• Have a family meeting and ask each person what he or she can do to help. For example, one sibling could manage daily bill paying, while another could handle making phone calls or doing online research for issues that come up.
• Make a list of the things you need help with and ask each person to take over something on the list that they feel they have the time to do.
• Continue to have weekly or monthly family meetings over the phone or via Skype to keep everyone informed and to discuss issues that need to be addressed.

Living Independently With Memory Loss

If you or a loved one is having trouble remembering things try these simple memory tips.

• Always keep a notebook with you to record important information, phone numbers, names, ideas you have, appointments, your address, and directions to your home.
• Place sticky notes around the house when you need to remember things.
• Label cupboards and drawers with words or pictures that describe their contents.
• Place important phone numbers in large print next to the phone.
• Ask a friend or family member to call and remind you of important things that you need to do in the day, like meal times, medication times, and appointments.
• Use a calendar to keep track of time and to remember important dates.
• Use photos of people you see often labeled with their names.
• Keep track of phone messages by using an answering machine.
• Play Memoru Games every day to exercise your brain!

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Creating A Fun Distraction/Motivator

Repetitive behaviors, anger or moodiness are some of the most difficult and stressful aspects of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's Disease.  Often, you can distract your loved one away from these behaviors with a favorite activity. Here are a few tips for making a fun memory game:

• Make a trivia game by looking up random facts online on subjects your loved one knows a lot about, such as cars for a former auto mechanic or books for a former librarian.
• Use index cards to write the questions and answers on.

If your loved one really enjoys playing it, you can use it as motivation. For example, you might say, "Let's play the Trivia Game after your bath."

Managing Daily Financial Affairs

In the early stages of Alzheimer's  Disease, your parent(s) may need help managing their daily financial affairs. Here area few suggestions:

• Be observant and listen. Try to recognize subtle changes.
• Encourage your mother and father to use professional advisors for taxes and investments, especially if you don’t live nearby.
• Know who they talk to or see. Friends, relatives and caregivers can be abusive both physically and financially.
• Put your elderly parents on the No-call lists for telemarketers (visit the National Do Not Call registry at http://www.donotcall.gov/)
• Make yourself available. If you don’t manage your own money well, you might avoid the issue otherwise.
• Offer to take care of home repairs or major purchases so they don’t get scammed.
• See if mail gets opened or piles up or if they send out responses to contests.
• Watch for inappropriate purchases – like beauty and health products, subscriptions or 21 sets of sheets!
• Remember, it’s still their money and they have the right to choose, make mistakes, and retain their independence as long as possible.
• Encourage your parents to stay organized by keeping important financial documents, such as their will, in one location so it can be easily located if need be.

Reverse Engineering?

An elementary school teacher of mine had to put her husband in a nursing home because his Alzheimer's was too much for her to handle by herself. A few weeks later, she had to bring him home. He had taken apart the window in his room and was subsequently kicked out of the nursing home.

Here are a few suggestions for helping a "mechanically inclined" loved one who has Alzheimer's:

• When trying to understand odd behaviors like this, think about what your loved one liked to do or his or her professional work prior to his or her onset of Alzheimer's. For example, a carpenter is probably more inclined to take things apart than someone who was an avid reader. A devoted housewife is more likely to pace around the house than an avid TV watcher. The likely cause? Boredom.
• Try giving your loved one things to do that relate to their past activities.
• yard work
• housework
• a set of legos
• jigsaw puzzles
• laundry to fold

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My Insecure Shadow

Many people with dementia feel extremely insecure and anxious. This can cause the person to constantly follow their caregivers or family members around, or call out to check where they are. A few moments may seem like hours to a person with dementia, and they may only feel safe if other people are nearby.

Here are a few suggestion:

• This behaviour can be very difficult to cope with, but try not to speak sharply to your loved one when he or she follows you around or calls out for you.
• If you are busy, try giving your loved one something absorbing to do - perhaps distraction through a pet, task or activity, or you can hum or sing, or put the radio on.
• Make sure you also find some time for yourself.

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The Alzheimer Reps

One of the most frustrating aspects of Alzheimer's can be dealing with repetitive behaviors like asking the same question over and over again. Here are a few suggestions:

• Try to look for a reason behind the repetition. For example, does the repetition occur around certain people or surroundings, or at a certain time of day? Is your loved one trying to communicate something?
•  Try to focus on the emotion, not the behavior.  Rather than reacting to what your loved one is doing, think about how he or she is feeling.
•  Try to turn the action or behavior into an activity. For example, if your loved one is rubbing his or her hand across the table, try giving him or her a cloth and asking them to help you dust.
•  Try to reassure your loved one by using a calm voice and gentle touch. Don't argue or try to use logic; Alzheimer's affects memory, and your loved one may not remember he or she asked the question already.
•  Try to give your loved one the answer that he or she is looking for, even if you have to repeat it several times. If your loved one is still able to read and comprehend, it may help to write it down and post it in a prominent location. Try using a dry erase board.
•  Your loved one may simply be bored and need something to do. Try to give him or her structure and engage him or her in a pleasant activity.
•  Use memory aids. If your loved one asks the same questions over and over again, offer reminders by using reminder notes, clocks, calendars or photographs, if these items are still meaningful tohim or her.
•  Try to accept the behavior, and work with it.  If the behavior isn't harmful, don't worry about it. Just  try to find ways to work with it.
•  Try sharing  your experience with others. Join a local caregiver support group or one online, and share what response strategies have worked for you and get more ideas from other caregivers.

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