Expect a Lack of Knowledge
Don't expect this person to "get it" right away. Your situation may be way too complicated for someone to pick up on in one session. Handling a situation with someone who has lost all social inhibition and may say something extremely rude is hard enough for people who expect this and have learned to cope. We can't expect our new love to get it right off. If the person is willing to learn and support you as you grow together, you may have a winner, so give him or her time to learn the ropes.
You Deserve a Life of Your Own
As a caregiver, you are, well, caring. You have responsibilities. You probably love your care receiver (though some people just do it out of feeling of duty). Either way, you may feel that moving forward with a life of your own is selfish. It's not. You are a human being who deserves love and caring from a mate, if that is your choice.
Adjustments will have to be made by all. That may mean your care receiver will need some in-home help or other types of help so you can give some of your time to your new relationship. You deserve this and need not feel guilty.
Make sure the care receivers have good help while you are dating. Take care to let them know that you aren't abandoning them. Let them know that you are just trying to live a healthy, balanced life and dating can be part of that balance.
Drop the Guilt
Don't feel guilty. Know that your care receiver may try to make you feel guilty. When this happens, try detaching in a loving manner. They may be afraid of change, so they can become controlling. Your job is to understand that you aren't responsible for their feelings. Reaffirm your love and commitment to them, but be aware that they may deliberately use the triggers they know will make you feel guilty.
Not unlike two year olds, your care receivers may test the waters to see if a tantrum will keep you from making any changes in your life. Don't buy into it. Make sure the care receiver is well cared for in your absence and then enjoy having some life of your own. Being a caregiver doesn't eliminate your personal needs. You deserve to have your needs met as much as any other human being. View dating as part of your own good health, which, in the longer run, only comes back to better benefit those you are caring for.
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