When Simple Things Become Overwhelming

When dementia strikes, even the simplest things can be overwhelming.

This was the case with my father who had a habit of postponing making decisions until later.

When I think of it, my father constantly put things off until later. My mother used to remind my father (he called it nagging) to take care of things, now. “Mardig, check the car now, before we leave for California,” she’d remind him each weekend before our summertime Wisconsin to California trip. He’d reply, “I’ll get to it, later.” Long after I went to bed, he worked on that car in the dark to make sure our old 1967 Pontiac was dependable enough to make the cross-country trip.

In 1976, a month after I graduated from high school, I sat in the back seat nervously waiting for the Pontiac to break down. It was only a matter of time and it was embarrassing for a teenager to witness her mother begging for help each time. Despite the many patches my father put on that car, we managed to cross the Mojave Desert in the predawn hours with no incident, and after touring Hollywood Hills, we landed square in the middle of Beverly Hills where the old Pontiac gave up after overheating.

My mother figured people in the Hills would be gracious but no one was willing to help as she went from house to house. It wasn’t until we ended up in the poorest area of Los Angeles (where people fear to tread) that we met the kindest caring people who ensured we had what we needed and were safely on our way.

Years later, and after my mother passed, dementia began stealing pieces of my father’s life. Try as hard as he did to hold on, the big D’s power could not be subdued.

After I came to visit him in Wisconsin for what would be the last time, I found a few of those pieces he had set aside to look at later.
One of them yielded a surprisingly significant windfall…

Don’t laugh too hard when you watch this, because we all set aside things to deal with later. Soon, they’re long forgotten until we take steps to clear the clutter out of our lives.
Click here to watch The U.S. Saving’s Bond Windfall – $100,000 on a bookshelf a brief 3-minute video excerpt from the Porterville Adult Day Center’s Annual Caregiver Conference. (I apologize for the poor audio and the video composition.)

Or click on the image below.

About the Author

 Brenda Avadian, MA, Executive Director, founded The Caregiver's Voice in 1998 while caring for her father who lived with Alzheimer's disease. As a prolific author and national spokesperson for family caregivers and professionals, she brings hope and strength to caregivers with knowledge, support, and humor.

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